Red

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Everything posted by Red

  1. Well, I have to admit that i'm a little bit afraid of geting disappointed. Imean, the usual response from people when you present them with great ideas is that they will hate you - a few will even act to destroy you. Over the years I have encountered not even a handful of people who have actually responded positively and even thanked me for presenting them to Objectivism. So with this lady i'm of course hoping that she will be something really special and that my judgement of her is correct. I can see the potential, but because I have never discussed more philosophical questions with her I cannot be sure. And if i'm wrong... On the other hand, I don't know until I try, and I don't atually have anything to lose(if she's not the right one, then she's not the right one...). But then there's another issue. I remember with myself that I had to arrive at a few conclusions before I was ready to take in a whole new philosophy. Change takes time and there's a lot to process. And with this girl i'm just not sure where she's at. But she has suprised me before, so maybe she'll do that again... I think calling her Dagny could be a good way of sparking her curiosity, plus I enjoy a little friendly teasing. It's also something she will understand very soon if she reads the book. Her situation is very similar in that she's working herself to death on a sinking ship driven by incompetent management, and she's pulling a lot of weight for the others. I think she can relate to Dagny. The hardest part with all of this though is that i'm not likely going to meet her that often, unless I manage to date her of course, so it will be difficult to follow up on things. Ah well, i'll meet her in a couple of weeks and see how it goes.
  2. I have thought ot that but i'm not sure she's ready for it. I could be underestimating her of course, but I think she's a very practical minded person who thinks in concretes. I have found many persons like that who can enjoy Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead but fail to make the connection to "the real world" - like somehow ideas get disconnected from reality. This is something I noticed with her one time when I wanted to see how she would respond to a few pieces of art. To some she reacted positively, sense of life-wise, but some piece were just strange to her, like she would look at it in it's concrete form without geting the idea. On the other hand, Atlas Shrugged would communicate the ideas much better than that... maybe it could work. Perhaps it's worth a shot, I don't think I have much to lose. Maybe I will just start calling her Dagny, to the point where she gets both annoyed and curious before I explain. That should really get her attention.
  3. Thanks for the great advice! I think I will set up a few objectives. First when I meet her the next time i'll just relax, have fun och catch up with everyone before anything else. Then, assuming she's still single, i'll probably have to put my foot down a few times, because then she's likely going to give me the old "poor me, i'm too old to find a good man". It could actually create a good opening to tell her that she must be old because she's getting blind for what's right in front of her... Then i'll just try and make my position clear, like you suggest. All I really want to begin with is a little bit of her time, to find out where that could lead. Anyway... one thing i'm not sure of is how to communicate my virtues. She should know me pretty well already, and I bet "Mr Perfect" could match almost everything I can come up with(and he's probably better than me in some aspects). However, I think I could give this lady something that noone else will offer. She's a person with some mixed up premises; she seems to hold both selfish and altruistic ideas, in a dangerous way. I think she's a person who really needs to shrug and focus all her great energy elsewhere. However, she's not likely to do that herself(she lacks the tools and her pride will get in the way). I think I could bring out the best in her, but only if I could meet her under better circumstances and invite her to "my world". I just don't know how to communicate this to her and spark enough interest.
  4. Thanks! It was really good reading them, I liked them very much!
  5. Sorry I havent replied to this for a while... You are making a very good point there. I think these guys can only get women of poor self-esteem, who are equally out of touch with their sexuality. Regarding being in the "drivers seat", do you think it's possible to get back there once the man has lost that position? I have seen many relationships end like that, but I have never seen any who got it working again. By the way, i'm very curious about your Femininity Essays.
  6. I'm actually swedish, but i'm familiar with the term "metrosexual". As I understand it it's a term used for men with a big interest in grooming, clothing and fashion. I don't think it's a good term to use for what I was trying to describe, because a guy can perfectly well be a metrosexual without having that sort of behaviour of an "unselfish wuss". But I do agree that metrosexuals cannot exactly be considered very masculine, atleast not in terms of their appearance. The most extreme of the "unselfish wusses" are however the kind of guys that if they actually manage to attract a woman, they sort of abdicate all their will and judgement and do everything to please her. I can't seem to find the right word for this, except a slang term that I think violates the forum rules, but you have probably seen these kind of guys. As soon as a woman catches them they suddenly dissappear and next time you hear from them, because their girlfriend is away for the weekend, they sound like they've been caught by a crazy religious sect and every other sentence begins with; "well my girlfriend/wife thinks that...". When you manage to spend some time with your friend he makes sure to get home before dark, because otherwise gilfriend/wife might get mad. You will know your friends soul is lost and devoured when he announces that they will have a kid and he has just given up his dream job because it was taking up too much time. That would be the most extreme of the extreme wusses. The behaviour I tried to illustrate earlier follow similar principles but may appear a bit different. It's basicaly about giving away your power so that she might like you and your actions are focused on pleasing her. Being a metrosexual does not necessarily mean acting in this manner. I think a lot of the metrosexual trends come from good marketing. From a marketing perspective it's great to have more men interesting in fashion and cosmetic products, and in todays society it's very easy for men to follow that trend. Personally I can't complain too much about the metrosexual trend. I mean, i'm a fairly small guy with a pretty face. I look like ten years younger then I am, and those who seem to fancy my looks are either gay men or 15 year old girls. So thank goodness a bunch of men dress and act like ladies. Imagine in a few years, i'll be the next Clint Eastwood! All I will need to do is to sit around quietly and act cool... It's going to be fantastic!
  7. It's a good question, and a very interesting subject. In todays society, although not expressed so explicitly, men are taught to be unselfish wusses. It's a situation where a lot of men who wants to treat a woman right act in every way to try and please a woman, in effect puting her above oneself. Then we also have the common idea that male sexuality is wrong, undignifying to women, and should be repressed. What a man actually wants and desires is said to be wrong, that is unless what the man wants and desires is to give up all his power to the woman and become her slave. A lot of this comes from feminism, because feminists tend to fear and hate men. They fear assertiveness and integrity, men who can clearly communicate their values and don't give up any of their power. They are affraid of men who know what they want and know how to get it, because such men will never want them. Because of this they attack masculinity(and actually femininity too) and try to erase gender differences, and men who don't accept are often labeled as chauvinistic pigs. This is of course very bad for women too, because it makes good men very hard to find. The most common types seem to be either wusses or jerks. Wusses will find it very difficult to attract women and often get bitter because the women they're after tend to go with the jerks instead. Jerks are much more successfull because part of their behaviour communicates the right things, and more importantly - they're not wusses. This is why women often fall for bad guys, because even though these guys may treat women like dirt they atleast do some things right that make them very attractive. Personally I implicitly accepted the idea that I should in some sense live up to a woman. The actual result of such thinking is to value her above yourself and trust her judgement instead of your own. That is in effect what a lot of "nice guys", like myself, tend to do. It's also a very easy trap to fall into, especially when you don't have the right confidence and self-esteem. It sort of starts with the bad idea that you should be nice so she'll like you, and once you go down that road you're lost. And this is the sort of mentality that I see almost everywhere today and it's exacty what i've learned since I was a kid. Almost every advice I have ever seen has been focused on how I should be nice to make the woman like me, and the logical step after that is to begin thinking in terms like "gee, wonder if she likes me...". Do you see what i'm trying to get at? That whole kind of thinking is very second-handed and selfish behaviour in these cases are often scorned. Now I find this a little bit difficult to explain clearly but I hope it answered your question.
  8. Thanks Betsy! I can really appreciate what you are saying. About a year ago I started a new job where I found myself in a rather pleasant situation, surrounded by young, intelligent and highly attractive women. One of them immediately caught my interest, and I did my best to pursue her. I think you can guess where that lead me if you consider I really knew nothing about women, but I certainly believed what most guys are taught in todays society. Talk about not being ready at all! For a long time I was caught in a lot of confusion until I realized I had blown every chance I migh have had. After that I decided I would figure this stuff out entierly and completely. Considering my situation at work I also had a very good opportunity to do so. I also started to look into material by "dating-gurus" like Neil Strauss and David De'Angelo. Although I most certainly don't agree with everything they have to say, some things are just real eye openers. So after a lot of observation, interaction, a little bit of experimentation and a great deal of reading, I actually started to "get it". Now I have also integrated it with a rational philosophical base. This is also one reason that i'm so keen on going out and start dating. It's sort of a natural step now that I think I have things sorted out pretty well. And it's also much more fun now that I think I understand things. Then of course it's just as you say, important to develop the right skills of communication(and I have found that it's great fun once you start to "get it"). My only concern has really been that this is the wrong time to go out and start dating, but I think the right thing to do is to just stop thinking so much about it and just go out and do it.
  9. Because McDonald's Has Free Will

    To define overweight they generally use the BMI scale where overweight is defined as 25 and over(30+ for obesity). A pretty normal guy like me, who is around 5'8"-9" and 165lbs, i'm just at the border of being overweight according to that scale. In reality however, i'm in pretty decent shape . And the thing is, take a normal guy who works out regularly and eats well and he is very likely to register as overweight on the BMI scale. For comparison, let's say a college quarterback is 6'3" and 230lbs. That's a BMI of 28.7. So according to the BMI scale alot of fit and even atheltic people will be regarded as overweight. And what if the more muscular guys would decide to bulk up a little bit, then they would register as obese. However, one common argument for the BMI scale is that it's meant to be applied to "normal" people who dont exercise regularly. But that's a bad argument considering that alot of normal people do exercise, and one very common form of exercise is to lift weights. Then we have the health aspect to consider. Even if people were as fat as the statistics claim, how bad is it really to be fat? What we do know is that it's unhealthy to be too fat. Perhaps not as bad as starving, but it's still bad. The problems is that it's impossible to say anything about someones individual health, aside from the more obvious cases. Some people live good and healthy lives even though they are fat, while others are very unhealthy even though they are skinny. The only way to tell is to look at the individual. Even if statistics would show a correlation between overweight and health problems, correlation does not imply causation. So basically there is no real science behind these government legislations. And while I do generally regard politicians as rather weak in their mental capabilities I think they are fully aware of the lies they are trying to feed people. The question then is, what are their real motives? First we have power. People are made to feel guilty about their weight and lifestyle, and poor, weak and guilty people are more likely to accept that the government steps in and saves them from themselves. And talk about ruling people completely when you can rule over their eating habits, food is after all a basic need for survival. By first attacking the poor you also have much greater chance to make others accept it too. Isn't it great to defend the poor who cannot take care of themselves and defend themselves against the evil capitalists who profit on their misfortune? Or read between the lines; "Oh great, now these weak and lazy fools will cost a little bit less in social wellfare so that my tax money can go to more important things". Whatever they are thinking, if people start to accept this then what evil ideas will they accept in the future? Aside from power I would bet it would be interesting to look into some politicians relationsship to the health and fitness industry. Not that I have anything to back this up with, but I bet it would be quite interesting to "follow the money".
  10. John Lautner Exhibit

    I just found out about John Lautner and... I have previously found it difficult to see the real artwork in architecture. Sure, I have appreciated Frank Lloyd Wright's work; perhaps not in every aspect but definitely the integrity of his buildings. However, the emotional response has not been very different from other forms of art. And when it comes to many other architects it seems that's they way they treat their work, like paintings or sculptures. I often find such buildings beautiful to look at and they do bring a smile to my face but, that's also it. When I look at John Lautner's houses it's entierly different. My first reaction was that I wanted to scream "YES!" followed by a "OH MY....!". I have never seen anything like it, and I have never felt such a way about any work of art before. These buildings are made by commanding nature for the purpose of sheltering man, and not just any type of shelter for any type of man. It's like these buildings are for the greatest and most heroic of men, and they are meant to lift them even higher. Anyway... I don't know what to say except thanks - this is the most inspiring art I have ever seen!
  11. Interesting you should mention that because it is exatly under such premises that I myself would consider having children. I think I would love passing on everything I have learned from life and see the child grow to become someone even better than me. That's what would make me perhaps consider it in the future. For some women though it seems as if there's something else that I, as a man, can't really relate to. Maybe it's related to the fact that women by nature are more nurturing and caring than men, and that for atleast some women having children really strikes a cord in this side of their nature. So in this regard perhaps women in general have a stronger desire to care for a child?
  12. Could having children somehow be linked to womans sense of being a woman, that is to some of her feminine traits?
  13. If it's about evolution, then how exactly does it effect us - and are there male and female differences? From an evolutionary perspective I have always equaled reproduction with sex. Thats sort of what happened before we had the means to enjoy sex without having children. However, I suppose it's a bit different for women since they have a different role. I would like to understand this more explicitly though.