TexasTeacherMom

Members
  • Content count

    83
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About TexasTeacherMom

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 03/25/1973

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Small Town Texas
  1. The topic was Texas conceal carry law...

    LOL! I had a similar conversation with my mom, a staunchly anti-firearm liberal. She constantly makes fun of my husband and I for getting our license and carrying our guns wherever we go. Then, one day I was with her at a bank after hours in a sketchy part of town. She needed cash, but she was too afraid to go in use the ATM. The next time she made a comment about our carrying habits, I reminded her of the event and told her that we are not afraid of situations like that.
  2. Happy Birthday to TexasTeacherMom

    Thanks everyone. I have had a lovely day. DH brought my sons and lunch up to work for lunch where my coworkers had a cake. I got a bicycle from my mother, a dressmaker's form from my husband and some gift cards to craft supply stores from my sister and stepmom. It's the first year in a very long while that I knew exactly what to tell people when they asked me what I wanted. I used to have literally NO idea what I wanted, and would say, "Oh, I don't need anything, don't get me anything." This year, I remembered the feeling of joy I have myself when I give someone I love what they want, and so I decided not to deprive others who love me of that joy. I am making great strides. I have learned that I need to determine a purpose in life for myself, since for so long I let others tell me what that purpose is. My task, as I see it now, is to enjoy every moment possible in every way possible. DH and I have been through some ups and downs as I've been on this path, but I think he is gaining acceptance. We have been to the brink, and then I suppose that reality was "on the winning side" as Ms. Rand would say. He has realized that he loves me, not my religious faith. The thing is, I feel that no matter what I might have lost by living truthfully, it would have been worth it for what I have gained. I thank you all for remembering me on my birthday. When I first joined this forum, you were like a beacon light giving me faith in what I now know was simply myself. Your patience and thoughtful advice has been like gardening to the seeds of truth within me. It's amazing how a few true words typed between would be strangers can have such an impact on someone's entire life.
  3. "Playmates"

    I have updated my blog with a couple of new entries.
  4. "Playmates"

    I have started a blog to publish my personal writings. My goals are to develop my writing skills, continue my search for understanding through analysis of my life experiences, and find friends with similar views. I would like to invite forum members to follow my blog, or stop by to read once in a while. I'd love to hear your comments. http://theballofwax.blogspot.com/
  5. Taking Children Seriously

    When children are "taken seriously" in the way suggested by your description of this philiosophy, they rarely achieve happiness in their lives, because they have to make every decision without the ability to foresee or fully understand the outcome of those decisions. Their entire lives are a struggle against teachers, counselors, and eventually law enforcement officers. Parental authority is not arbitrary. It is done out of love for the child. Parents and teachers attempt to share with children the benefits they have reaped from their own experimentation with life. When kids trust their parents and make decisions based on parental wisdom, they make the right choice more often and avoid dangerous and costly mistakes. Also, why should children be taught that the impulses of their will should be their guiding force in life? Maturity means having control of those impulses to the point of being able to coexist peacefully with other rational people and being able to make logical choices even when they conflict with the impulses of our will.
  6. Coming Out as an Atheist

    Thank you all for taking the time to read my situation and comment. I have taken a few days to mull things over and decide the best course of action. I think that my husband's feelings stem from several factors. 1. He likes the assumed superiority of the male over the female that he thinks is part of Christianity and is afraid that I will not respect him anymore. Sometimes when we fight about him being bullish and not listening to my point of view, he pulls that old trick out of the hat and tries it, though he knows I never fell for it even when I did believe. 2. He really doesn't believe in god himself and thinks that now I will think he is silly for believing, even though I can see that he is making pretense. The way he lives his life is proof that he doesn't really fear the consequences of many supposed sins. 3. He simply doesn't understand that the basis for our real morality is not tied to religion, but rather is inherent to our being. Once, he questioned whether I would still be faithful to him, and I asked him if the only reason he was faithful to me was because of his fear of god. I explained to him that I am faithful to him because I love him and because I value myself for honoring my promises. I think he understood. And 4. He is terrified that our kids will grow up not believing. He had hoped that I would take care of that, since he could not actually do it, again, since he really doesn't believe either. I have decided to give him some time to accept it and to continue living my life according to my morals. It hurt to feel his rejection, butI love him, and I understand that he is having a difficult time accepting this, but I think that ultimately, my courage in admitting the truth could make it safe for him to do the same, which would bring us closer together. We have a five year old and a three year old together, and I feel that they are best served with both of us in the home, provided that we can be civil to one another, which we can. I think it may be a bumpy road ahead, but I just hope that he will come to accept the truth eventually and then I will truly feel like I have a matching partner.
  7. I told my husband that I do not believe in god and he is taking it very hard. We have had several fights over this past year as he has struggled to come to terms with the news that he finds so troubling. At first he denied it and as he has questioned me more and I have been more adamant in my assertions of my non-belief in god, he has gotten more frustrated. He has even gone so far as to tell me that he would like to divorce me but does not want to give up his relationship with his kids. I don't know if it's really how he feels or if he is just speaking out of his frustration and pain. When we married, we both were believers, but he really never pursued his faith. I was more devout than he, and read the bible regularly. We went to church for a short time, but haven't for several years. He doesn't read the bible or really even bother to worry about his actions with regard to his religion. He basically believes that we just have to believe in god. I am hurt and find myself torn between wanting to leave him and not look back and hoping that he will come to accept me as I am. I think that deep down he believes the same thing I do, but he wants for me to be the one to "save" us both by holding on to my beliefs. I find it hard to believe that he really believes, judging by how he lives his life. He is a good person, but does what he wants and then rationalizes those things that he knows are against Christian morality. I still love him, but find it very hard to do so knowing how he claims he feels about me now. Has anyone ever been through this? How do I handle it? In some way, I feel badly for the fact that I have changed on him. I have told him that I see where he has a right to feel betrayed, but I also cannot lie or live a lie. Also, I feel so much better about life now that I don't have to try to make reality fit into an illogical box. I am sad that he cannot share in my happiness, and that he now sees me in a negative light, when I am feeling so good about myself for the first time. I can finally take credit for the life I have worked so hard to create for myself, rather than giving credit to some divine force. Life makes sense now, but I am losing my best friend.
  8. The Road

    I got a life affirming message from the book/movie. It's inspiring the way he keeps on going. His wife commits suicide, giving up, as we are led to believe many did after the disaster. He's up against seemingly insurmountable odds, but keeps on going. Why? Because he is still alive, and cannot do otherwise. The grit and determination he demonstrated forced me to question whether I could do the same given the same circumstances. And, seeing him do it gave me hope that maybe I could, too. In the end, well I don't want to spoil it, but ...
  9. The Road

    I read the novel by Cormac McCarthy, and I have seen the movie. I thing the film makers did a good job of capturing the essence of the story, but I highly recommend the book. The prose is captivating and you get more of the inner life of the father. It was so compelling that I read it in two nights.
  10. Cesar Millan

    To me, Cesar Milan is brilliant. I am fascinated by the mystery of what he does, impressed with his level of skill, and very inspired when I watch him succeed at changing the dogs' (and their owners') behavior. I have also picked up a lot of tips that I use with our dogs, though they are generally not "problem" animals. I like when he takes the dogs to his kennel and uses his "recovered" dogs to teach the new dogs how to be dogs.
  11. How to Improve Someone's Thought Clarity

    Another tool that I use to help my students learn and think in different ways is with "Thinking Maps". This is a published system of graphic organizers. Each has a different purpose for use in a different aspect of thinking. Here is some info: http://www.thinkingmaps.com/products.php The different maps are: circle map for defining in context bubble map for describing flow map for sequencing brace map for whole-part relationships tree map for classifying double bubble for comparing and contrasting multi-flow map for cause and effect bridge map for analogies I started teaching these just because they were there, but I have come to really see their benefit in developing thinking skills. I even use them sometimes in my own personal problem solving. I often start with writing in my journal to get my feelings out on a topic and then I choose the map I think would be best to use and fill it out. Then I go back and rewrite my same feellings according to how they may have changed once I've looked at the facts in a logical way.
  12. How to Improve Someone's Thought Clarity

    I teach fourth grade language arts. Teaching students to think critically and organize and communicate their thoughts is what I spend my days doing. My advice comes from my experiences at my job. First, I would say that she might not want to think logically. Many people don't want to think that way and would rather be guided by emotions or mystical associations. So, given that she actually wants to improve her ability to logically think, I recommend writing as the best training tool. Daily journaling as well as targeted problem solving writing is one of the things I use to assess my students logical reasoning abilities and to guide them and direct them. When we write down our thoughts, they are there for us to look at and can't morph into something else before we grasp them. Something you could use, if you wanted to take a more active role in helping her develop her thinking abilities is a dialogue journal. I often do this with my students. One person writes and the other person takes the journal and reads and then responds in writing to what the other person wrote. Then the first writer takes the journal for a day or two and reads and responds, continuing on until the goal is achieved. It's kind of like a message board, in a way.
  13. I will put in a word for Alanon, which is a support group for friends and family members of alcoholic persons. I gained some help from going to meetings of this organization. The idea is to talk to others about being involved with an alcoholic person with other people who share your experiences. My first husband was severly alcoholic, often becoming verbally abusive and physically aggressive while drunk. When he sobered up, he acted as if he did not even remember all that had taken place during his episode. It was maddening to have someone act that way and then not feel like you could hold them accountable because they refused to even admit to doing anything at all. Going to Alanon meetings helped me talk about things that were embarassing to discuss with my "real life" friends. It allowed me to say, out loud, things I was trying to live in denial about. Eventually, when our child's life was endangered by his drinking I was emboldened to leave the situation. But to this day, when I have to interact with him, I use strategies and techniques that I learned from my time at Alanon meetings and reading their publications. The main focus in Alanon is maintaining control over one's own life and letting the natural consequences of the drinker's behavior have their full impact by not protecting them, or striving to not protect them. As far as AA and other 12 step programs, I think they can work, if the person actually wants them to work. They say they are submitting to a "higher power", but all that higher power is is their own will. I think it is so important that the loved ones of alcoholics not enable them (protecting them from the natural consequences of drinking). It's very hard not to take someone in who has lost their appartment or to bail someone out of jail, etc. When we love people, we want to help them avoid these difficulties, but the more of these consequences they face, the better chance they actually have of taking responsibility for their actions.
  14. Happy Birthday to TexasTeacherMom

    Bravo!!! You make is sound so special. The funny thing about my age is that since 32 I have forgotten my age every year and have to do math to figure out exactly how old I am and am going to be on my birthday. I remember a time when each progressively higher number made me feel so much more powerful. 6...7....8....9....10( hurrah, double digits)...11...12...13(wearing makeup)...14...15...16(driving and my first job)...17...18(voting)...19...20...21(adulthood)...22...23...24...25...(this was where it all started to become a blur, but I was starting my career and becoming a mom)...26...27...28...29...30...31...32...33(one third of a way to 100)...34...........Now, with no special milestones to mark the years, it's hard to keep track or feel like I'm growing.
  15. Happy Birthday to TexasTeacherMom

    Yes, with a bad taste in my mouth, I am voting for Perry. He made a lot of us mad last year with an executive order mandating HPV vactination for girls age 11.