Swmorgan77

How do I get someone to respect my time and desire to not be dragged into their emotional hysteria?

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How do I get someone to respect my time and desire to not be dragged into their emotional hysteria?

Is it wrong to intentionally try to offend someone or hurt their feelings merely for the purpose of ending a conversation which you've already stated you do not want to have, and to end the process of this person dumping their emotions on you?

Is this approach more likely to just feed the cycle of destructive emotionalism and keep them coming back, or do you think they would actually stop treating me as an emotional dumping ground if doing so results in me being borderline verbally abusive every time?

I'm really desperate here... I have no desire to hurt this person emotionally at all, but I value my time and my own emotional state and I can't take it anymore. These conversations are hurting even the relationship I have with this person, which she apparently views as just a vehicle for this exact undertaking as being its only basis of value.

My candid expressions (which have been repeated and unequivocal) that I do not desire these conversations have had no discernable impact on the person's behavior whatsoever, because this indivdiual feels entitled to not only my time and participation in this, but my implicit validation of those emotions.

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How do I get someone to respect my time and desire to not be dragged into their emotional hysteria?

If this is an accurate portrayal of the person

My candid expressions (which have been repeated and unequivocal) that I do not desire these conversations have had no discernable impact on the person's behavior whatsoever, because this indivdiual feels entitled to not only my time and participation in this, but my implicit validation of those emotions.
then you can't, because this person isn't respecting you.
Is it wrong to intentionally try to offend someone or hurt their feelings merely for the purpose of ending a conversation which you've already stated you do not want to have, and to end the process of this person dumping their emotions on you?

Is this approach more likely to just feed the cycle of destructive emotionalism and keep them coming back, or do you think they would actually stop treating me as an emotional dumping ground if doing so results in me being borderline verbally abusive every time?

I'm really desperate here... I have no desire to hurt this person emotionally at all, but I value my time and my own emotional state and I can't take it anymore. These conversations are hurting even the relationship I have with this person, which she apparently views as just a vehicle for this exact undertaking as being its only basis of value.

Sounds like it is time to be coldly civil, but not rude. Trying to drive her away by being intentionally offensive will just be bringing yourself down to her level. Try being coldly polite, and simply ignore the person. If the context is an office, then perhaps you need to ask someone higher in authority to intervene and get her to stop annoying you.

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These conversations are hurting even the relationship I have with this person, which she apparently views as just a vehicle for this exact undertaking as being its only basis of value.
Then why do you actively maintain this relationship? It sounds like she isn't trading value for value here.

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How do I get someone to respect my time and desire to not be dragged into their emotional hysteria?

As always, reality is the winning side, so politely and firmly tell her the truth. Say "I don't want to be involved in what is upsetting you."

Is it wrong to intentionally try to offend someone or hurt their feelings merely for the purpose of ending a conversation which you've already stated you do not want to have, and to end the process of this person dumping their emotions on you?

Yes. Just keep repeating, like a broken record, "I don't want to hear this." Then ignore her. Then walk away.

I'm really desperate here... I have no desire to hurt this person emotionally at all, but I value my time and my own emotional state and I can't take it anymore. These conversations are hurting even the relationship I have with this person,

Say "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't take this any more. This is hurting the relationship I want to have with you."

which she apparently views as just a vehicle for this exact undertaking as being its only basis of value.

That is attempted mind-reading on your part and probably wrong. Besides, it is irrelevant. What matters is what you want and feel.

My candid expressions (which have been repeated and unequivocal) that I do not desire these conversations have had no discernable impact on the person's behavior whatsoever, because this individual feels entitled to not only my time and participation in this, but my implicit validation of those emotions.

She can't get your time without your consent. Tell her the truth and then walk away.

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Betsy's advice is exactly right.

But, if that doesn't work, if, for example, you're chained to your cubicle desk and she's blocking the exit, you might try gnawing off your arm and using a letter opener to dig under the desk to the hall behind. Or you could mime poking out your eyes and ears with a hot poker. I find this expresses your desire not to further participate in the conversation fairly well. But try Betsy's approach first.

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