piz

Jokes

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Steven Speicher said: "A falling cat always lands feet up. Buttered toast always lands buttered side down. So, attach a face-up slice of buttered toast to the back of a falling cat..."

Feet UP?

Yes, that should be "feet first." Thanks.

The physics involved with a falling cat is really quite interesting. To many it appears as if the actions of a falling cat, or those of a springboard diver, violate the law of conservation of angular momentum. The actual physics involved has only been firmly grasped in the past two decades or so, and later studies explain the phenomena of the falling cat and the diver in terms of sequences of bodily deformations that begin and end in the same basic shape.

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The physics involved with a falling cat is really quite interesting.

I recall that there was a series of pictures of a falling cat in my university physics text, showing how the cat was able to twist itself around to land on its feet. We didn't go into details on the physics involved. One of my classmates, though, volunteered that by holding the cat's front feet in one hand and back feet in the other, and putting backspin on it, you could mess it up so that it would be unable to get its feet back under it. He was getting some pretty severe looks until he hastened to explain that he had never done that himself, but had seen it done.

(I really don't hate cats, btw.)

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Wait the thing about cats always landing feet first wasn't a joke? There are actually complicated physics principles involved? ...

Yeah. You knew if Stephen got involved we'd end up talking about physics, right? :)

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Um, cats don't ALWAYS land feet first. If it is from too high a distance or too short a distance or just plan too fast, the cat can become disoriented.

Don't ask how I know this..... I love cats.... with ketchup....

jk! Really, I have studied it and the equilibrium mechanism in the ears can get off not allowing the cat to right itself. There have been controlled studies done and just so you know, no cats were injured during the making of this joke.

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Wait the thing about cats always landing feet first wasn't a joke? There are actually complicated physics principles involved? ...

Well, usually we link rotation with angular momentum, but the cat that was intially upside down, held by its feet, winds up landing feet first without any external forces or torques applied. The laws of linear momentum conservation do not permit any translatory movement unless an external force is applied, but apparently conservation of angular momentum can still be achieved even though a series of rotations were undergone without application of an external force.

A main difference between linear and angular momentum is that angular momentum, unlike linear momentum, can depend on the microscopic angular momentum of parts of the body. It was not until fairly recently that a special coordinate system was developed which better describes the coupling of this internal momenta to the rotation of a macroscopic object. Until this was done the physics was just approximations instead of legitimate detailed quantification of the phenomena. And, as I hinted in my other post on this, a newer, higher-level analysis of this was done, one which puts the entire framework into the broad principles of modern gauge theory. When the problem was recast in these more mathematically abstract terms, new insights were derived about self-deformation of bodies, and one immediate application was a proposal for a new method of orienting satellites in space.

From a falling cat to an orbiting satellite; who'da thunk it. :)

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Wait, couldn't all this be explained by the aerodynamic properties of cats? Hehe. I mean, if it twists its body into a screw shape, then that alone will get the air to flip the cat around, until it reaches the orientation it wants and then returns to a straight shape :) I say all this partially tongue-in-cheek, but... can cats be aerodynamic? :)

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Um, cats don't ALWAYS land feet first.  If it is from too high a distance or too short a distance or just plan too fast, the cat can become disoriented.

The physics involves the mechanical means by which the rotation is accomplished absent of anything for the cat to push against. If the falling distance is too short there is not enough time for a proper rotational sequence. There is also some evidence that it is the cat's tail movements that control the body balance while falling.

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Wait, couldn't all this be explained by the aerodynamic properties of cats? Hehe. I mean, if it twists its body into a screw shape, then that alone will get the air to flip the cat around, until it reaches the orientation it wants and then returns to a straight shape :)

That only works when the falling cat is being used as a corkscrew, with its destination being a bottle of wine. :)

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... The laws of linear momentum conservation do not permit any translatory movement unless an external force is applied, but apparently conservation of angular momentum can still be achieved even though a series of rotations were undergone without application of an external force....

That only works when the falling cat is being used as a corkscrew, with its destination being a bottle of wine.  :)

Whew! You had me worried there. Thanks for getting back on topic. :)

So, would dirty jokes be acceptable on THE FORUM? With appropriate punctuational substitution to mask the f&*#ing bad words, of course. :)

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Whew! You had me worried there. Thanks for getting back on topic. :)

Now that's funny!

So, would dirty jokes be acceptable on THE FORUM? With appropriate punctuational substitution to mask the f&*#ing bad words, of course. :)

Even with the masking, I prefer not.

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Graffiti observed many years ago, on a wall at Purdue University (in two different handwritings):

"Christ is the answer."

"What was the question?"

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Graffiti observed many years ago, on a wall at Purdue University (in two different handwritings):

"Christ is the answer."

"What was the question?"

Mweh! That reminds me of a story I heard from college campuses in the 80's -- I did not personally witness the following.

Campus Crusade for Christ was selling t-shirts which had the name of their organization on the front and said, "I found Him," on the back. Another group calling itself Campus Crusade for Cthulhu responded with a t-shirt that read, "It found me." :)

(I'll leave it to the reader to research Cthulhu and the works of H. P. Lovecraft.)

While on the topic of religion:

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this a joke?"

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Q: What do you call an eye doctor who works on an Island off the coast of Alaska?

A: An optical Aleutian.

Q: Did you hear about the clumsy optometrist?

A: He fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.

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So, would dirty jokes be acceptable on THE FORUM? With appropriate punctuational substitution to mask the f&*#ing bad words, of course. :)

Even with the masking, I prefer not.

OK, just so I know, because my sense of humor goes everywhere.

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(I'll leave it to the reader to research Cthulhu and the works of H. P. Lovecraft.)

*chuckle* Cthulhu for President! Why settle for the LESSER of two evils?

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Two brothers, Jimmy & Johnny, aged 7 & 6, had learned some expletives on the playground at school. They decided to try them out one morning at the breakfast table.

Their mom asks, "What would you boys like to eat for breakfast this morning?"

Jimmy replies, "Well, mom, I think I'd like some damn cornflakes!"

Mom was not pleased with this, "There'll be none of that in our house! You go to your room & wait for me there. You're in big trouble little man." Jimmy leaves, mom turns her attention to Johnny & asks, "& what would YOU like?"

Johnny, terrified & shaking, says in a very small voice, "I-i-i'm n-n-not sure, mom...but I sure as hell don't want any damn cornflakes!"

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Here's a cute one (a true story):

One day, when my sister was in about 4th grade, she came home from school and informed my mother that she had been assigned a report to write.

"Oh, what are you doing your report on?" my mother asked.

"Ummm...a piece of paper."

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This really happened. About 20% of the people I tell this to don't "get it" at all and that says something about how they mentally process the joke. I often use it to demonstrate that humor requires the listener to form a the proper conclusion in order to "get" the joke.

Stephen called a store about some merchandise and decided to go there to get it. He asked the lady on the phone for the address of the store and then asked, "Is that on the East or the West side of the street?"

She replied "That depends on what direction you are coming from."

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"Ummm...a piece of paper."

From the Quote File: "Home is where the house is." - Unknown, age 6

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