Paul's Here

How to invest money in today's economy

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If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!

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A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!

I always take my ethanol with a twist of lime...

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A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

To and from the car, no doubt.

:)

I'm reminded of the scene in L.A. Story where Steve Martin drives to his next-door neighbor's house (I tried to find a video clip to link to but couldn't), and this bit of dialog:

Sara: What did you have in mind?

Harris: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.

Sara: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?

Harris: All right, a cynic. First stop is six blocks from here.

Sara: Why don't we walk?

Harris: Walk? A walk in L.A.? [bursts out laughing...]

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If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today....

This is a recycled joke.

I first heard it back in 2002 (or before) during the bear market that followed the collapse of the dot-com bubble. The names of the companies were different - one could have filled in the blanks then with plenty of companies that never amounted to anything, even though many people thought that buying these stocks was a sure ticket to riches.

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If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today....

This is a recycled joke.

Send it to the environmentalism forum, then. :)

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